Tyler Cash, named after his daddy, was born March 13th at 4:05pm, after 15 hours of labor. Weighed 8lbs, 3oz and measured 21 inches.
I couldn't sleep on the night of the 12th/13th, and I was up at probably midnight or so. I was having A LOT of Braxton Hicks, and they were pretty strong. Some of them I kind of had to breathe through. I was on the computer, just messing around and then decided to try and go back to sleep. I STILL couldn't, and my nose was stuffed up so I thought I'd take a shower to clear up my sinuses and just feel more clean. Just as I was about to get out, my water broke. It was kind of one big gush, but then trickled after the initial gush, which I didn't expect. I went and told my mom, and we headed to the hospital. When we got there, I was 4 cm dilated, 100% effaced. I fell asleep a bit later, and when I woke up it was probably around 6am, after sleeping for about an hour. My mom had called my sister and told her to come, and also let my best friends know that I was in labor. Farah and Dave got there around 9am. I was about 6cm by then, and the contractions started getting much stronger. They offered me the epidural, but I decided to hold off on it for now. It was hard to get through each contraction, but once I kind of developed a way to breathe through it that worked, it was surprisingly manageable. Things just kind of progressed until about 2:30pm, when I was 8cm. That's when things got really hard. The contractions were AWFUL, and I even said that I just wanted a c-section. But after a short pep talk from my mom and Farah, I kind of got that extra boost. Around 3:30, I was 10cm and they started preparing for the birth. My dad, Dave and my brother left the room (I just wanted my mom and Farah there) and I started pushing. Once I got the hang of that, I kind of just put my mind set on the baby being born and not the pain, and it worked. Ty was born at 4:05pm. When they put him in my arms, I just started crying. It was just surreal, crazy, amazing all at once. And it made me miss Ty A LOT. Through the whole thing, it was just hard because I so wished that he was there. But he wasn't, and couldn't be. And that was the hardest thing to get through. It was more painful than the contractions or any other labor pain.
But all in all, I'm proud of coming so far. I know that Ty is always with us, and maybe it's time for me to move on. I know I'll never love anyone as much as I loved him. I know that I will always love him. He'll always be in my thoughts and my mind, and my sight. Because of little Ty, and just because I couldn't bear to let him go completely. But it's time that I stop living in the past, wishing Ty would come back, and start living for little Ty and myself. Because that's what Ty would have wanted.
