Well ya'll, I know it's been quite a while since I last posted. A lot has happened! Ty is now 4 months old! Every day with him is such an absolute joy and I feel so absolutely blessed to have him in my life. He can roll over and bear weight on his legs when I hold him up. He smiles and laughs ALL the time, and it makes my day every single time. They totally melt my heart every single time. I'll be a senior this fall and plan to try as hard as I can in school, get the best grades I can, be a good mother for my little boy and have fun for me.
On Friday, it will be a year since Ty passed away. Every day this past year has been a complete struggle, so hard to get through, 24/7. He's my first thought every morning, my last before I sleep, and even in my dreams, he's still there. He'll always be with me, and I will always love him. People say that with time the pain goes away, but that's not true. I always feel that pain. But as time goes on, I learn how to deal with it and not let it effect me and live in a way that would have made him proud and happy. I'm at such a different place than I was long ago. And it's still so hard and I still miss him so much, but I'm happy. I'm happy with our son, I'm happy that I have our son as part of him. I really think that God blessed me with little Ty for that reason. It's been such a journey and it's nowhere near over, but I think that this year mark is going to be a start to a new chapter, one filled with hope and a whole lot of life. I will live for him. Every day, I will live for him. And I've made a promise for him and for my son to do everything that he would have wanted to do, to honor him. Raising a child, traveling, spending time with family and friends, having fun, helping others, and maybe even getting married one day. I want to live a life that will make my son proud one day when he looks back at everything I went through. I want to live a life to honor someone who still had a whole lot more life to live. I want a live a life to make myself happy. And I vow from now on not to let myself have all thsoe "what if"s. Because Ty is gone, and there's nothing I can to about it except live for him, in honor of him. And that's what I plan to do.
Love,
Savannah.
Much love to my two beautiful, amazing Tys who light up my life every day, two mothers who never gave up on me, to my friends who never left me, and to one who always, ALWAYS is there for me. You are all more precious to me than I can ever even try to put into words, and I thank you all so much.
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