Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Monday, February 28, 2011

Seven whole months.

Can you believe it's been that long, Ty? Seven months since you've been gone. But you know, it feels like two completely different lifetimes. Before the accident and after the accident. The two different people I've been. The two different eras.
I'm 36 weeks now, Ty. 37 weeks soon. Now that has gone fast. Isn't it funny? It seems like it's been years since I've seen you, but these months of pregnancy have flown by like they were nine days instead of nine months. I miss you, bud. I wish you could be here to feel every kick, laugh at all my craziness. I seriously can't stop thinking of all those "what if"s and those "what would you be doing if you were here"s. If you see someone on TV lose a significant other, you feel bad for them. Say you can't imagine what they have to go through. But the thing is, you really can't. Even if you try to imagine it or be empathetic, you truly have no idea whatsoever unless you're in the situation. I wish I wasn't. I wish I only had to sympathize and "not be able to imagine" what it would be like. I wish you'd be able to hold your child. I wish you'd be able to encourage me when I'm upset. I wish you were here to go through this with me. But why even wish anymore? There's no use. It does nothing. Nothing but shatter my already broken heart.
It's impossible to move on. Even though people think I have, I haven't. I still lay in bed at night and think about you. I ache for you. I cry for you. But like I said - it doesn't do much. I just miss you. A LOT. Keep staying in my dreams<3 I live for them. I love you and miss you.
Always,
Savannah.

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