Dear Ty,

We're all a wreck. Tomorrow there will be tears. For all of us. I'm telling your parents Sunday... I'm so scared, Ty Ty. I hope you're with me.

I'm listening to our songs before I go to bed. I close my eyes, and I sometimes get shivers. I still remember the feel of your arms around me as we danced under the moonlight that summer night, music blaring from your truck. I remember your smell, and how the breeze seemed to dance around us, the smell of rain in the air. I hope that I dream of you tonight... It's the only thing that keeps me sane. And I need a long, perfect dream. Is it so weird of me to do this? To pretend that you come from heaven, into my dreams, so that it's completely real. Maybe I really am crazy. But haven't I always been?

I found a picture of us in my old purse.. It was stuffed at the bottom, folded and a bit worn. But it's taped onto my mirror now. It's the day we got lost in the woods by the creek, confused on all the paths. The sunlight is coming through the trees perfectly, after you searched forever to find the perfect picture spot. We're both laughing; I'm laughing so hard that my eyes are closed and my head thrown back. You're just smiling your smile that touches your eyes. 

I wish I would have told you more, that I love you. God, do I love you. I don't know that I can love anyone else. Ever. I know you would want me to, but I just can't see how it's possible. I guess I'll just focus on our child, and on school. I bet that would make you proud.

Miss you.
Sav.